We have all heard that in many situations "communication is the key to success." The same goes for relationships: the more communication the better. I'm not talking about texting. Talking face to face is by far the most effective. Even Leslie and I had to work through this the hard way. I will give you some examples of how our communication has evolved and improved.
In the early stages of our relationship Leslie and I would text often. Even more so when we were discussing something that we disagreed upon. Naturally, communication via text began to get lost in translation. Too often things were taken the wrong way and only made situations worse. When our relationship was getting more serious, Leslie continued to try to have long conversations via text, explaining that she could write things better when she was upset. However we never seemed to get anywhere and things would often turn out worse than when they began. I eventually refused to text anything that had to do with a serious issue and Leslie began to agree with me.
Nowadays, we talk the way people are supposed to: face to face. While putting yourself out there may get emotional at times, in the end it is the most effective way to communicate. Instead of having a serious conversation via text or even worse, avoiding talking about issues all together, put yourself out there and have the talk one on one.
Leslie and I have mentioned before that I am very easy going. I will often go along with something that was not my first choice to make things easier for everyone else. This is not always the best course of action, though, as sometimes my opinions get lost. Through some frustration and a lot of talking, I have learned to make it clear when I feel strongly about something and voice my opinion. When it is important to me, I make it known and we come to a compromise or my preferences will win out.
Cooking plays a big role in our lives and is one of the few things I have strong opinions about. While cooking together can be great, we have had our share of arguments or disagreements stemming from the kitchen. I may have an idea to cook something one way while Leslie is thinking something completely different. Thankfully, we have come up with a solution. We talk about the concept of the meal first and agree that one of us will be a chef and the other a sous chef. This way, one of us will have the final say and arguments are avoided.
Talking in person is always better then texting or email, especially for important conversations. None of these issues could have been resolved in our relationship through text or avoidance. Text messaging can be taken out of context so easily and while you may think it gives you more time to come up with a better answer... I call bullshit.
- Brian